Finding peace is also about learning how to communicate in a manner that resolves issues rather than ignites them. Whether you’re in ministry, business, military, or anything doesn’t matter. Everyone. needs to learn how to use verbal judo to execute the difficult conversations that must take place. If you hope to be in a leadership role one day, you will likely need to deal with a conversation you don’t want to have. “You’re Fired!” The iconic phrase from ‘The Apprentice’ almost makes it seem like a joke. In reality, firing someone or letting them go will be one of the most complex actions you take in your organization.
I remember the first time I had to fire someone. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and I knew they would lose much of their income when I did it. How do you do that? How do you intentionally take away, in many cases, the only source of income a person has? To make it worse, I’ve seen far too many terminations go wrong, including two of my own. So how can we terminate an employee gracefully?
Below are a few things you SHOULD do when firing someone and a few things you SHOULDN’T do. Each of these depends on your specific situation, so apply the idea as you see fit.
DON’T
DON’T fire the employee over electronic means!
Face it, we’re in a society so ingrained in social media and technology that we even hesitate to call someone. And this isn’t just millennials. Emails, texts, phone calls, and even a letter should be saved for something else. Do NOT use them to terminate an employee.
The only way to terminate an employee gracefully is to meet face-to-face. This is especially true if the employee has been in your company for a while. If we’re honest with ourselves, we often turn to online methods because we are scared. Most people simply want to be heard, and giving them a setting to do that can eliminate issues in the future.
This is obviously on a case-to-case basis, depending on the aggression and history of the employee…
DON’T fire an employee before giving them a warning
This goes out the window if there is legal or physical harm done. However, if the employee is being fired for performance reasons, begin to address concerns. Eventually, this will either get them working again or will prepare them subconsciously for termination.
Sometimes you have to terminate immediately; in those times, we suggest waiting for them to come in the next day or asking them to come. Use your best judgment if the employee is expected to be reckless or dangerous.
DON’T go into the details of why you are firing them
Most larger organizations will track their employee’s performance and let employees know when they have missed their mark. For this type of company, the employee should know the details, and you do not need to waste time pulling out every detail. For companies that don’t do this, lay out the reason for termination but do not go into an in-depth answer. Allow them to speak their thoughts, but know when to end it.
DON’T let the person think your decision is not final
If you’ve gotten to where you must sit down and fire them, you must realize this is a permanent decision. Don’t be wishy-washy, and don’t give them a reason to believe you might bring them back. You should approach the person with kindness, respect, and concern but must speak directly and clearly.
DON’T allow the employee to go back to his work area
This seems harsh, right? When I first thought of this, I realized how negative it sounded. However, keeping this employee away from others is protecting them. Many employees get upset regardless of how well you fire them. Many can’t help but cry. We want to protect them from any embarrassment or unwanted attention.
Make arrangements with them on when they can come back in. This allows you to get anything from their desk or computer without them. Allowing them time to go home and return will hopefully give them time to calm down. If you didn’t handle the termination meeting correctly, this could do the opposite and allow them to sit on their anger.
DO’S
DO have a witness present
Unfortunately, in our current age, people tend to sue regardless of whose fault it was. If you leave yourself open to attack, you might just get attacked. For this reason, we suggest you take someone else to the meeting with you. The best choice usually is your HR staff member. Having the second person gives you a second statement if the employee were to sue.
DO make sure you’re taking legal actions
The last thing you want is to fire someone and then realize you did so unlawfully. This will not only have a great impact on your company but can also destroy you. Talk to your HR representative if you are even slightly unsure if your actions are legal. This isn’t an issue normally, but you don’t want to overlook it.
DO let employees know when someone is fired when appropriate
Rumors and gossip can destroy a team quicker than anything else. Instead of allowing the information to spread from coworker to coworker, you should let them know. When appropriate, let your employees know that so and so has been let go and that they will experience a greater workload. Share the information you feel is important, but remember to keep your past employee’s reputation intact. Remember, even if they hurt you, your goal is to let them go gracefully.
DO have a checklist to keep the meeting moving.
It’s best if you keep your meeting moving forward. This is to your benefit and the benefit of the person you are terminating. When the meeting pauses or hesitates, you and the employee can interject their emotions, which could be aggressive at the time. Stick to your points and stay focused. However, those points should be an opportunity to let that person speak.
DO listen without reacting
People don’t always need to be correct, they need to be heard. When you give your terminated employee time to speak, you not only hear them out, but you’re also diffusing potential negative emotions. People who are being terminated will often have a variety of emotions coursing through them. You must listen without reacting because, more often than not, they are speaking out of emotions. You must achieve an obvious balance to keep the meeting on focus, but it’s critical to listen and calmly react to what your terminated employee is saying.