While I’m a massive fan of the Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Emerson Coleman, I will admit that there are times and places when knowing how to defend your faith will come in handy. But the best way to do this is the opposite of defense. There are millions of things to learn if you want to debate someone, so trying to debate from a defensive posture will likely result in confusion or failure.
Our goal is to place seeds of doubt in their minds about what they believe. To do this, we need to know four killer questions that act more as a crowbar than a sledgehammer. I would love to take credit for these, but much of this comes from Bill Jack during my time with World View Academy. Before we start, a quick story…
The Annoying Questions Of A Third Grader
A man took a group of third graders to the Denver Museum of Natural History.
Before he took them inside, he knelt down on their level and said, ‘Kids, if anybody in this museum tells you anything, I want you to ask them, how do you know that’s true?‘ Giving this question to a third grader is the intellectual equivalent of giving them a surface-to-air missile. These kids walked into the museum; all they knew was, Ask: How do you know that’s true?
A paleontologist was going to show them how to find a fossil. Apparently they had intentionally buried a fossil down in the soil sample and she said, ‘We’re going to find it.’ Very clever, right? No, not with this crowd. ‘Cause they started asking questions like, ‘Well, how do you know there’s a fossil down in there?’ ‘Well, because we just know there’s a fossil down there.’ ‘Why do you want to find it?’ ‘Well, because we want to study it.’ ‘Why do you want to study it?’ ‘We want to find out how old it is.’ Well, how old do you think it is?’ ‘About 60 million years old.’
‘Lady, how do you know that is true?’
She patronized them. She said, ‘Well, you see, I’m a scientist, I study these things, I just know that.’ They said, ‘Well, how do you know that’s true?’ Anytime she said anything at all they just asked, ‘How do you know that’s true?’ What happened next proves that truth is stranger than fiction. She threw down her tools, glared at these children, and said, ‘Look, children, I don’t know, OK? I just work here!’
Four Killer Questions
So many people (including myself for a long time) are like that woman in the museum. We have accepted someone else’s beliefs for so long that we’ve never needed to prove them. Eventually, we will have to challenge what we believe. And I challenge you to do so soon. If you’re young in your walk with God, I will encourage you to find someone you trust, respect, and believe similarly to you. Use them as a sounding board to start asking these challenging questions.
- What do you mean by…
Before you do anything, you want to clarify what the other person means. This question reminds me of a time with World View Academy in Lancaster City, PA. We were going around the city handing out food and water and posing, “Where do you think you end up after you die?” After walking around for an hour, we stopped a lady who told us she would be reincarnated. When I asked her what she meant by reincarnation, she said she believed she would die and that God would give her a new body in heaven. She knew the truth, but she didn’t know the correct wording. If I had started talking to her about reincarnation, I would have missed the critical information she told me afterward.
It’s critical to fully understand the other person’s view before saying anything. This should also remind us to listen to understand compared to listening to respond. “What do you mean by” helps you clarify what they are trying to say and builds them up by showing you are listening to the words they just said. In psychology, we call this mirroring. It’s when you repeat words or phrases another person stated, making them feel like you’re listening (which you are).
- Where Did You Get Your Information/Evidence
Learning your belief from South Park probably isn’t the best source but believe it or not, I know people who have quoted that as a source. In today’s age, you can get information from TV, websites, magazines, school, churches, and even Tik Tok. When someone responds that they read it in a newspaper, you can follow up with, “How do you know that is true?”
Knowing where someone is getting their information should shed much light on the validity of their claims and will help you know what type of person they are like. When someone says their source is a historical book from AD 70 versus a miscellaneous magazine, you can approach the conversation appropriately. Additionally, asking this question can drive deeper research into the mission behind the source. For example, if you read an article on the power of a hair loss supplement, it loses credibility if Bosley paid the company that wrote it.
- How Do You Know That’s True?
The idea behind this question is to place the burden of proof on the other person. Another way to examine this question is, “Why should I believe you?” It’s not a matter of if they are right or wrong, it’s a matter of you being completely honest and requesting evidence. When you come at a conversation with genuine interest and a non-combative spirit, the conversations you can have are limitless.
Most people (including Christians) are simply believing by faith. AWESOME! But WHERE is your faith placed? Most non-believers simply have faith in a belief that has been spoken to them from avenues such as school, friends, or media. Unfortunately, Christians ignore the Berean call to “examine the scriptures every day to see if what was said was true” as well. You can have faith in a belief, but make sure it’s founded on something.
- What If You’re Wrong
This can be a powerful question at the right time. If I’m wrong about Jesus and heaven, I will die and turn to dust, losing nothing. If I’m talking to a Jehovah’s Witness, I still get to live on Earth as a paradise. There are so many other religions that I would love to jump on board with if I am wrong about Christianity. But what about them? What if they’re wrong?
Remember the point of these debates. It is not to win. Winning gets us nowhere. However, if we can leave a conversation with someone wrestling with the question, “What if I’m wrong” we have placed seeds of doubt that will drive them to find the Truth. That is the goal of these questions.
Atheist Penn Jillette made a powerful statement encouraging me to ask the above question. We shouldn’t be scared to challenge people with hard questions because spreading what we believe is the most loving thing one can do. The quote I want to capture is below:
“How much do you have to hate somebody not to proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?”
These questions aren’t designed to be used for war. They are designed to help drive a conversation and, more specifically, to force the other person to defend what they believe.
I also encourage you to lead your friends and loved ones to Christ by revealing the freedom and peace from walking with Him. When we look at Christ, we see him walking with people, building a relationship with them, and telling them to believe in Him. As someone who loves to debate, I must constantly remind myself of this. Walking with people is sometimes the best way to show the love of Christ.